Older moms – No regrets. Get back on path!

Older mom without regrets – Imperfect Parenting Podcast

Podcast and post dedication to mom

Ode to my own mom, Diana, as today’s podcast is dedicated to her. This is older mom 1st Wednesday, just days after her birthday. I dedicate this podcast to her, an older mom, who did the best she could, in the moment. At the time, she seemed so much older than other moms, to me. And, ironically, though I vowed never to be as old as she was when she had me, the joke was on me as I was nearly 46!

The difference between moms is values not age

The differences between older moms and other moms is often less of a gap than is talked about. I felt it more when my mom was 32 and moms were younger. Or, maybe it’s just mentality. I have never been great at ages, it has always been about values, open communication, laughter and connection. In the end, none of this matters, what matters is our energy level. And, this energy level is not about what statistics tell us, its about how much joy and fun we are having and how true we are to ourselves, now.

Personally, I feel it more in who is happy and who isn’t. Who even believes they are allowed to be on their path and not. And, the aligning of scheduling and so on. I don’t feel more tired, being older. I feel as exhausted when I am the constant caregiver now and 30 years ago. It’s about when I feel well used, appreciated, honor, revved up by my life and connections and what I am creating that I have energy.. at any age.. So, if this is true.. what does it mean as we get older and feel of less use? How do we perceive our worth and our purpose and our last years? Nevermind, right now, when I still feel space and push to “make” and “create”. And, now, each day, I think also not of what we create, but what our daughter will feel confident and strong enough and creative to create.

Vision for our own kids creating

My daughter, with her “I’m a girl not a baby” moment in time. And, with multiple languages. Her fierceness. Her will. Her inensity and clarity and so much more. I wonder and hope each day that all her talents, weaknesses and sensitivity can be guided and encouraged to find their own way to help all of us and the planet in some way while keeping her own soul fulfilled.

Being older and witnessing our kids lives is one of THOSE big questions. Thankfully, women in my family live long. Yet, I followed destiny and let nature decide, so can’t say much about that. As long as we are able to let go and communicate about with all the expectations, judgements and so on.. our family is ours.. and no one really has a right to say much about that.. And, if we are lucky, we can guide our kids to be themselves and we will be there to see them create and grow and thrive.

We must clear the way for creativity

As I look at this creating that we all look to do (one way or another.. it doesn’t mean artist.. “creative” takes many forms).. I realize that without the clearing of the old, that which we put in our way, or burden ourselves with.. in “things” and “energetic” and “emotional” .. must be cleared.. Before we do this, it often feels like we are wading through the mud. Slowly and arduously and painfully.. making our way to what we love..

Perhaps its why it comes as no surprise to me that so many of us are going through a lot of “clearing, these last years. We are clearing history and spaces and energy is moving in a power-full way. It is painful and challenging, in many ways, yet without a doubt, what is on the horizon is going to blow our minds.

As we are clearing in multiple directions it’s a bit overwhelming, but clearning is clearing. What must happen, will. In our Czech flat, this clearing will continue to be a daily process until we move in October and you have been hearing about this for a long time. In Sweden, we are doing it both for us and for the energy of this family house, its history and its heart. Making space for the new in a way it could not have fully imagined before. It’s a strong process. And, even my mother in law is reconnecting with the past through the things we are pulling out of this old family cabin. We are looking at the workshop space which has been a dusty woodworking shop with machines living as the creatures of that little house. Now, my vision is to make “creative space”. So much clearing. So much energy. So much acceptance of the “mess ” that is (how symbolic is THAT for our “humanness” as well).

Why is this clearing happening, now?

What is happening in the stars that so many in my family and Ohana circle are clearing, moving and in transition? Is the Universe saying, “OK all of you.. that’s enough.. It’s time to clear out the crap and “Create”! Perhaps, you wished on a start one night and forgot all about it. Maybe you, asked for a sign, for a way to what you are meant to be and do. I have no doubt, that like us, you had hoped it would come without the deep work that requires so much introspection, awareness and facing of demons. Yet, that is part of the story too.

Jump or get pushed

We often know we are not in the right place, yet don’t see or feel we have choices. In these moments, we either jump or get pushed where we are meant to be. In our case, we were pushed and that is fine, if that is what it takes. Here we are.. job lost by husband which forced us to get back together on our path as a couple and individually.. I have been on my path before and was slowly getting back. But, for my husband it would have been another couple decades when he retired. So, here is the incredible opportunity, before retirement for us to see what is possible to create together at the last 1/2 of our lives when our values and ideas and focus is on “well being” with internal core values coming to the forefront and “working for money and success” has a very different meaning.

Path and purpose, success and money.

Success is about heart, community, all of you and our own fulfillment on the planet. Money.. is about freedom, relaxation and fulfilling our dreams and others, and less about actual numbers.

What is “success” to you, now? What does “money” mean for you? It’s not about the number, what does it give you?

Are you where you would like to be? Do you feel energized each day? How often to you hear yourself say, “mommy is tired.” Is it true? or has it become habit to say it to get a break?

Check in, see if you are truly where you spirit and life call for you to be. What about you has disappeared or been put on hold, in last years? And, what is calling to be revitalized?

A life without regret

Being an older mom is a good thing. No regrets. All the problems and joys. Partners we’ve chosen. Choices we make each and every day. The gap between our family ages and activities and that of many of our friends. Family and societal judgement. And, so much more. Well, this is where we are. I hope you look around and see a family you are happy and grateful for. And, sure, I get that some days are fucking hard. And, when tired, we might swear. And, we don’t do things as all other moms might. Yet, what we know is that”right now” is where we are meant to be. We are here. We are moms. We love with the whole of our hearts. We do our best. That’s all we can do.

Just for you, mom

2 minutes a day.. just for you.. and all will come. Take YOUR TIME. It’s for you. It’s for your family.. Take what you need and deserve.. Take back the power and energy for your own life..

Have a beautifully imperfect older mom day.

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