Imperfect Parenting Daily hair reality

Honestly, I should be sleeping now. Ella finally fell asleep after a full morning which started rough as Dad accidentally woke us on the way out to cycling with a dear friend. El and I were both in deep sleep when the small bike rattling noise woke us. We were both in deep sleep. El accidentally peed, which is a rare moment, so was screaming with distraught tears. I was super sad for her. Yet, in truth had been in super deep dream sleep and though grumpy to wake earlier than this aching, too much packing body was ready for..I had a smile across my face..

Oh! That dream.. it felt soooo real. You know those dreams where you wake up and you are SURE they really happened?! And, you actually have to convince yourself that the true moment is real and NOT the one you just dreamed?!

Ask Mats, I have been pissed off about something he did (in a dream) for hours! Because the feeling was sooo real that I somehow, though irrational.. felt it as true and real.. That he ate the last piece of chocolate (actually, that DOES happen, sometimes) or kissed a friend at a party ( that we never went to). Sometimes, real and reality.. strangely.. aren’t the same!

So, back to the point, as I need to nap before El wakes up!

The dream....

I dreamed.. that Ella let me wash her hair with a lot of soap! And, wasn’t screaming and fighting me. (It is 99% of the time.. a horrible event..). Seriously.. this was massive! She was smiling, holding her breath, in moments, and closing eyes so no chance for soap in. The water was warm, she was laughing and it was a joyous experience! Amazing!

I have no doubt, that years from now, I win’t be able to get her out of shower or bathroom as she is getting hair ready. However, these days, it’s ab ugly scene I DO NOT look forward to.

Sometimes, in summer, I set up an outdoor shower on our terrace with warm water and she loves that. Yet, hair/head wet, is always a big negotiation ending in, “later, mommy”, or, “no way!”

So this dream.. was a Goddess send. What a gift. I truly want to find the way. It’s so stressful for all of us!

And, don’t get me started on hair brushing! All friends and neighborhood this we neglect her. But, seriously, one nap time and that fine hair is another tangled wind storm mess!

It’s been a stressful time, packing up our lives, Ella’s toys and all, And, my body and psyche have always taken good care of me when stressed about something in life, by sending good feeling dreams to lift me up.

When single, and on my own a while.. I dreamed about flying over mountain tops, up to the stars and hot lovers! That connection to Universe and another grounded me as I grew my life until meeting the RIGHT partner.

A couple years into our complicated marriage/bonus family reality.. I dreamed of being in France at a lovely cafe not far from the Ocean and our whole bonus family was in the cafe, sitting around a table, enjoying cake and tea/drinks and it was pleasant connection. That dream helped me so much, in that moment when I needed hope ( though perhaps that dream may never come true. That’s OK, for now, I’ll take it!;)

And, now.. as a mom.. dreams come unexpectedly .. about hair washing and a feeling of peace in the room.. I have to trust, that’s what is needed now.. t have grounding and peace in THIS moment in life.

And, yet.. I do still so want to solve this hair madness..

I am not blonde, I do not have fine hair. I love the feeling of washing my hair, and especially of someone else washing it (hello, salon day joy!). So, in this case, it’s hard for me to fully relate.

That said, I know Ella always has reasons for what she does. Is it from past life/early life bath trauma?(Yes, there was one accident, yet she was magically safe. I will tell that story another day:). But, she likes baths. Hmm. Is it that the top of head is sensitive and where energy comes in? Not sure about that. We have tried non smelly and natural smelling products. What is happening?!

In general, Ella has a funny relationship to water. Splashing naked in water yes. Getting a drop of water on her clothes.. no.. ?!?! We have a few friends with kids who are similar. Hopefully, the mystery solves itself.

Sometimes, if I ket Ella be along in stone shower, she WILL wash own hair. ) independent monkey!) But, its a rare moment!

If I let El wash my hair, sometimes THAT works.. as we BOTH do it. Hmm, that could be it.. she is all about “what mommy does I do”, these days. Won’t wear shorts if I don’t only wears skirts because I do and so on. Hmm..

It’s a mystery.

I know I am supposed to solve a problem for YOU.. in blog posts sometimes, but m, the truth is.. I din’t have all the answers..

In the meantime, if any of you out there.. have some amazing successes or magic they want to share.. we would love to hear about it!!

Have a beautifully Imperfect day.

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