A mountain of sh-t to do every day
We want to be with our kids, interact and connect, yes? Yet, the reality is that no matter what we do, it seems that the to-do list is endlessly growing. Right?! It seems to be the norm of life. Things don’t seem to really slow down, do they? I keep aspiring to this seemingly “holy grail” of “someday” when all will be calm and there is less to do. Ha, ha. This feels very much like chasing a rainbow.
Have you ever stood at the end of a rainbow? You literally an never touch it. I tried as a kid out in the by the Russian river, beside a redwood tree, I was incredibly disappointed.. as I really wanted to the find that leprechaun! Perhaps this comes to mind as we just passed St. Patrick’s day. Yet, the main point, is that we just can’t wait until our days are completely calm and to-do list item free.
Forget waiting, be present, now
Days and months go by quickly on this planet with all the things that we do each day, week, month. As a parent, don’t you notice that it seems that time moves even fast than normal? It’s like years go by in a blink, no? Between all the stimulation from our kids, partners, work and life, its a miracle that any of us make it through what we need to get done, in only 24 hours. In fact, many of us don’t! Yet, with time rushing by, the one thing that is priority, in actuality, is our family, our kids. So easily, we all get lost in th mix. Yet, if what we remember the most is the experiences and how others make us feel? Then, we don’t want our kids to be feeling that they are a side note to our on-line community, buying of groceries, getting things done, each day. These childhood years only last so long.
How do we get things done and be present with our kids?
Look, we aren’t fools. We know that each one of us has a lot to do, each day and if that isn’t going to change, it’s not like we can stop doing it, right? Right. So, here are a few tips we have to make life’s realities and connection with our kids better.
Presence Parenting through Daily Life
- Work together! Pick a few things on your to-do list that can be done “with” your kids. (yes, it will be slower, no things won’t be as perfect, yet it will be a “together” activity, which is all that most kids want and if we make it a bit fun, then we have success)
- Make it fun! Make boring, everyday things more fun! Take your daily list and make some items into a game, a competition, something creative or whatever mixes with what your particular family is all about.
- Can it wait? Let go of some things. Does it all need to be done? Probably. Yet, is there anything you could let go of today, and replace with something where you are able to be more present with yourself and kids?
- Align timing: This is a big one. I get trapped in this one, a lot, as my brain doesn’t fully work the way I need/want it to, so I fear that if I don’t do things now (order food, send that mail and so on), that I will forget and it will be lost. So, take that moment and quickly write it in a time when you can check it on calendar later in the day. I put things later in the night as there is less there and I can do something. That, said, sleep is vital
- Get sleep. Yep, here I go again with that annoying sleep thing. But, it’s SO TRUE! If we can do less after the kids go to sleep (ours is often jumping out of bed until midnight, no joke, she is energized!), then we will be much better parents. We will be present, patience, more balanced, clear and work and function with much more focus than when we are grumpy sleepless beasts. I know, it’s obvious. Yet, how many of us still stay up toooooo late?! Right. This is what i am saying:). No judgement. Just, give yourself and your family a break.
- Rest Technology: Last, but not least, just put the phone, ipad, computer down, get on your kids level and simply ask them what they would like to do in this moment, with you. Their faces will light up (well, especially when younger, but you might be surprised by the older ones too:). Take the time. Even if its only a few minutes.
- See the difference: Watch how your kids energy and moods shift with just a bit of this. Less tantrums, more focus, more joy. And, more confidence as you will be doing things with them and their skills will “grow”!
Mindfulness tip of the week:
Throughout each day, when with your kids, ask yourself, ” Can I be more present, in this moment?” Take a deep breath, close your eyes and let go of the “shoulds” of the day and reassess what you could do together with your kids ..or what might wait until later, so you can have some fun connecting in a more relaxed way.
Question of the Day:
“What activities do you do with your kids that are on your list?” How do you make them fun, interactive, confidence building “connect in time” with your family?
A few of our favorite things:
Extra soft cosmetic brush: Relaxed, sensory fun! We love this! It’s especially good for shifting mood, relaxing ourselves or our kids and calming any coo coo moment.
? What do we do with a blush brush? Imagine that you are gently painting all skin from face to toes, or wherever is showing:). One smooth movement as long as you can. Or, gentle brush strokes. According to the moment, one way is more relaxing and calming or stimulating than another. Experiment and play with this. It’s great to get your kids to re-focus when they are being grumpy. Or, at the end of the day, as we have talked before about body brushing with hands for letting go of the energy of the day.. this is another version..
~Thank you to our lovely listeners in Peru and Netherlands who recently joined our IP Community and started listening to our podcast!