Deciphering Tantrums: Little people – big intuition

Little people – Big intuition

We all have intuition. Whether we believe in it, use it, or don’t, it is always there, waiting to assist us in daily life. Kids know and used this as a matter of fact in their lives. They don’t get into big intellectual debate in their minds whether or not “it’s just a feeling”. Few of us adult were educated, encouraged or supported to listen to our most trusted tool from within. So, in turn, we do not trust and follow our intuition as fact as our younger ones do. In this case, our children teach and remind us well and the best thing we can do, is let them lead.

Tantrum or truth telling

Every time a tantrum happens, something real is happening. The worst thing we can do is write kids off because “oh, she’s just 2”, or “it’s a power-trip” or whatnot. Look, I have said it too. When it happens enough, it feels that way. Yet, it doesn’t change that for the little person standing in front of us, something very real is happening. And, if we are willing to mutually grow with our little ones, we have an incredible opportunity, especially in the most challenging moments of growing together throughout our parent/kids/human lives. So, in the moment that an explosion is happening.. it is up to us as parents to asses “frustrated about something?” “Hungry?” “Tired?” “Too much stress in the air (under surface or on top?” “Not OK with the energy in the space or room/someone here?”. From my experience, these are the top reasons for tantrums, with each moment having some specifics to those involved. So, let’s take time for one another, what is “actually” happening?

Mutual Respect

While I in no way expect my 2 year old to be an adult, she has much learning, experiencing and knowledge to gain from her time on Earth. And, it’s up to me, to be the grown up, look out for her, know what is right for the moment (like when they are exhausted, screaming, “no bed” and you know that when you go lie down and relax, they will come join you and crash out immediately, or after a book), yet to them and in reality, all that they feel is “real”, ‘true” and “authentically an honest experience of the moment”. So, let us do our best to not discount them for being “little”. They trust what they feel more often than we do, many times. Let us allow their wisdom into the room. Intuition and somatic knowledge runs deeply within all of us, so let us listen to the ones who hear/feel it strongest. Give them a chance to express, as they are able, what is happening. Perhaps, you will find that in fact they validate your own feeling that you pushed aside in the moment as it wasn’t convenient or messed with “plans” and whatnot. Start following these moments, sometimes “letting go” and seeing how energy and tense moments expand more beautifully.

Letting go of attachment to how we think things “should” (my least favorite ‘S’ word) happen, and seeing what comes. Life can be so much better than we let it be, sometimes. Kids are definitely the wisest in the realm of both fun and intuition.

Let’s see where it leads us.

Mindfulness Tip of the week:

Align: Crouch down to your child’s level. Meet them where they are. Align bodies and energy, as best you can. Now, is an opportunity to both ground yourself and child. Take a breath and exhale a couple of times as you go to the next step and embrace them.
Connect: Hug/hold your child and open your heart to the situation from deep empathy and understanding and ask them in their ears, “what is happening? What do you need, right now?” And, then look at them with an open smile, consciously letting go of anger, frustration and breathing into the moment more fully with your child.
Listen : Listen not only with our ears, but our bodies. Somatic learning is more powerful than anything our brains can offer. So, connect both mind/logic knowledge with somatic/body knowledge and listening, and we have well blended information to support our daily lives. Both individually and with our families, this will be a tool to help many aspects of life.

*Conscious parenting is a clear intention. We will all have moments where coming to the place above seems near impossible, or doesn’t happen. Yet, as often as we can, really “meet” with our children, letting go of being “right” or “logical”, yet showing up with true intention to fully show up and understand what is happening.. will often get surprising results. Most of us know this, this is only a reminder:):) to come back to this place as often as possible.

Questions of the Day:

What do you do in tantrum madness moments? What are your tricks and tips to come back to center?

*Send us a voice message on our email or on Facebook Group messenger. Or send us a note and tell us/show us!

A Few of our Favorite things:

Geosmart magnet building: One of our hot tips for melt down moments when nothing else works or you are too tired to manage in another way, is having some emergency back ups in your bag. One favorite that gets kids focused, in the moment and out of crappy moods are magnets that create things. This one is our favorite as it’s high quality and works! We have talked about magnetic moments in a past blog and the joy of littles and bigs creating without full dexterity, or when you need a babysitter or just because magnets are science magi that bring fun and joy into each day. One of the best investments we have made.