Would you like to win Chris and Holly’s Book? Enter to win before end of July 9, 2019! Listen to podcast or read to the end of the blog for details!
What is Resilience Parenting?
It’s not only Chris and Holly Santillo’s guide book, stories and teaching through life handbook and more.. it is a way of life.. for the benefit of the whole family. It keeps us accountable to our selves, our children, our families and most of all to authenticity and letting go into failing well with opportunities for learning and teaching along the way.
Every day, we do our best to live and teach and grow well, at least in theory, and as often as possible, in practice. Yet, how many times do we forget the importance of “teaching moments” and allowing ourselves and kids to fail?
As a nanny and teacher I saw things so clearly! Now, as I parent, I find I have to go back and re-learn some things, be reminded of what the heart already knows, and.. let go..
Kids know more than we sometimes get, they hear us, are paying attention to what we do and we have to come back to this place of letting kids fall, so our kids can grow into confident creators in the world!
Letting ourselves and kids fail.. it’s tough! We want to look good, shine in our kids eyes and protect our kids from pain and discomfort. Yet, if we do not learn to fail well and let our kids do the same, are we truly helping them? Sadly.., no..
Are our kids resilient?
Chris and Holly Santillo’s book, Resilience Parenting is just that reminder that we need. The reminder to allow failure, experience resilience and let our kids/families grow stronger from it. If you yourself are into martial arts, or you have read their book, you know that martial arts teaches you how to fail well from the start. Holly and Chris see this over and over in their dojos and just had to share!
Chris and Holly’s book and conversation is full with shared stories from their own lives and others along the way, and more. Their authenticity and willingness to be real warms our hearts and reminds us all of the importance of showing our humanity to our families. Imperfect Parenting and Resilience Parenting are good partners of reality. I notice more and more in daily life the importance of letting go into my own imperfections and holding my tongue and letting my daughter fail. I forget, yet the conversations with Chris and Holly ring in my ears and I come back to “failing well” and using these opportunities, well.
Opportunities to teach our kids
Live what we teach. Teach what we live. Live, learn and share. As parents and teachers in the world, we have such great responsibility with kids. It’s a beautiful and sometimes overwhelming honor. Yet, every moment done well, or not, is an incredible opportunity to teach, learn and grow.
In daily life, we do our best to teach our kids to do as we say, but ultimately we must do our best to live things fully and let them learn from what we do and how we manage the hiccups of life. Opportunities for teaching moments is what Holly and Chris talked about a lot. And, listening and reading, I know for myself that in moments I have been lazy or too tired to teach or let Ella fall. Yet, the amazing confidence that she has is from the from the moments when I have had focus enough to let go, let her take the reins, make a mess and have successes that build on each other, grow her (and us) and make her feel her own worth, ability and more. Letting go of control, worry, fears, stress about more clean up and so on, is a worthy exercise. For the greater good of our families we just have to flow with it.
One of Holly’s stories had me on the edge of my seat and I wasn’t sure if I would fully be that brave with my own daughter! Listen and feel what I am talking about in the podcast. It is one of those, “take a breath and let it happen”- moments! Allow kids to fail or succeed, use what you have taught them and allow them to bounce back. Holly was so brave to be so real with us! Thank you!
I am still re-learning to allow failure. I sometimes screw up and over-control to save myself clean up or overload when too tired. I do encourage self reliance, often and from Ella’s early months. I often feel like crap when I see I have “controlled” instead of allowing failure.. and I see how Ella then gives up on her own ability and then asks me to do everything! So.. double poop! I dashed her spirit.. AND made more work for ME. Something to consider in those moments when we slip and don’t let them fall and fail.
Who did we talk with?
2 martial artists who run 3 studios, have 3 curious and active boys and who have sold their home and are traveling across the US with their kids and soon the Siberian express and more! Wow! Brave souls. Somehow we connect with these curious spirits which are meant to be here on the show and site. So nice to share their adventure with you!
I really enjoyed the way Chris and Holly balance each other out. When Holly said something along the lines of Chris thinking and using mind around all they are experiencing.. and Holly just wants to paint it.. I liked that so much that I encouraged Holly to share her painting journey with us! Brave Holly shares her creative moments on their nomadic way:). Thank you for the lovely “colors of USA” you are sharing with us.
Points to play with:
Fail well. Show our kids its ok to fail.
Grab onto opportunities to teach.
Help our kids be more resilient.
Let “doing”, failing and bouncing back grow confidence.
Let each day be a Resilience Parenting Day.
REMEMBER! Write us at firstname.lastname@example.org or dm us on Instagram with your resilience parenting moments and you will automatically be entered in a drawing/tombula to win Chris and Holly’s book ..now until July 9th!! Enter, now!:)
Where can you find the Santillos?
Book website: https://resilienceparenting.info/
Raising Resilient Children — “Parents, both new and old, will find much of value in these pages.” — Kirkus Reviews
*Wandering and Worldschooling
Martial Arts Studio
Martial Arts For Men, Women, and Children
Stay tuned for updates as they travel! More to come!:)
Have a beautifully Imperfect day