Every day, people inspire me to write something for all of you and truly as well for myself and my own soul and what we need to hear. Sometimes, the words are only written in my head, other times they make it here.
Our friends as mirrors
Today, I feel so strongly after a deep and open discussion with my friend K., yesterday(I will keep her identity silent, for her own privacy, so just call her K). What an incredible mirror for my own life and hopes. She touched me so deeply with her struggles. And, was the sign I asked for to keep moving forward with this Imperfect project for all suffering moms. From the outside, like many of us, things look lovely as you see her shining smile. This post is dedicated to her and all of you, wondering what happened to your own path within motherhood.. and answering the question.. “where is my energy?”
We must make space for ourselves
Yet, as the story is too often told, there seems to be little space for you/HER. For that which lights up her soul and gives her energy. She is tired and trying to figure out if it is the disease inside her body that slowly works against her? The drugs she is trying, to help keep afloat. Or, if in fact, it is life itself and not being on her creative purpose and path that is sucking energy away.
Somethings we keep things
She loves her family, she does her jobs well both in and out of the home. She wishes her family fully understood and felt all that she does to keep home, family and life moving forward. Sound familiar?! And, a part of her knows that she is not fully on her path as she works a soulless job. Yet, at same time that job allows her community and connection to her own language which is valuable. So, where are the lines when we need to support our families and ourselves. And, I am not by any means saying, “quit that job!” Ok, maybe someday.. maybe there can be that moment. Yet, that joyful community adds to the spirit and until there is a replacement, sometimes, we keep the imperfect things.
Make space, not excuses
I laughed and cried at same time as K and I spoke about sometimes wondering if she had to pretend to poo just to get enough time for what she needed.. and where her passions are. I think back to a time long ago when my dear friend M said the only place in the house where people in her large family were allowed peace was in the bathroom! I couldn’t imagine at the time, being single and far from that reality, yet I get it so well, now. Good they at least had that rule! How many of us feel we need a justifiable excuse to do what WE need. And, now K, not having that rule at home, could hardly remember the last time she had enough time to do morning writing, a drawing or much else with feeling of full time to relax into with fullness without interruption or feeling of being behind. How many of us know this feeling? My hand is up!
Take what you need and have peace with it
We MUST give ourselves permission to have space for what WE need for our souls to thrive! We MUST. This is when your energy returns. No, really, I mean it. When we are on our path, even if things aren’t clear and we are just making our way forward, even at a snails pace.. the energy is massive that comes.. I have been saying for a while now that I was tired and overwhelmed. And, then, I decided to make space for my own morning rituals so I get at least that space each day before I even leave the bed with daughter and start the day. And, I dove into a class coaching program which brings constant reminders of what is important to me and shakes things loose from inside out. I almost didn’t do it because I believed my own self talk that “I couldn’t fit anything else in”. But, I quickly realized.. this was the 1st thing “just for me” in years! Though in all honesty.. I did it also for all of you and my family because I want to “serve” better. My energy levels, ideas and creativity are now fueling each day in a way I couldn’t have dreamed. I knew I had to find the way, otherwise, how could I ever shine the light for you too.
Yes, I make space. LESS Netflix, negative self talk, getting sucked into bonus family dramas, social media and meeting with friends who don’t feed my soul. MORE meditation and intentions, gratitude, writing, creating and letting my soul fly with what sparks the fires.
Thats said, of course, I still have moments of overwhelm as I am sorting through my past (full with emotions) and packing up for moving things to 2 countries and leaving behind a country which has changed me both for good and bad. Any bug change challenges the spirit and when returning to your home zone ( whether from another part of your country or another place all together) begs us to ask “who am I NOW?” And, what will I take with me physically and in body and soul.
Yep, their is space even when we can’t see it. What I know is.. there is no time to wait.. wherever you are.. you are worth it.. family will surprise us and give us the space we “truly” decide we will have, without compromise.
We have to choose ourselves.
We must show our kids.. that being a parent doesn’t mean.. you let go of self, dreams, joy and happiness..
Motherhood/parenthood.. is about growing each other (kids grow us.. and we grow them! But, then, you know that:), helping each other to find joy in the little things, live each day well.. and feeling energy and gratitude for what we ARE able to create.
Have a thriving Imperfect day.