A parenting book sits across from me staring, taunting, nudging me to read it. But, I sit strong, ignoring it, at least for the moment.
So many parenting books, written with good intention, yet what effect do they actually have on us? They line the shelves of book stores, Kindle and are in stacks around many of our homes. Do you love them? Do they bring comfort and peace? Are they informational and helpful? Or, do they relieve or cause stress?
Honestly, I have mixed feelings about them. I think in the right moment, books can be helpful when dealing with bigger health or other issues. Though as well a lot of us go to forums, these days, or other social media and platforms that allow us to observe and only interact when fully inspired and as well more easily filter what we do not want to see/hear.
I refused to read anything while pregnant. Too many shoulds, shouldn’ts and what ifs for me. I didn’t want to read anything that would freak me out, especially when I knew it would be months before I would have any real sureness about anything (when baby came). The doctors were creating plenty of stress of which I could hardly control (older mom assumptions) so those bases were covered quite fully. That said, I did spend a lot of time talking and listening to others on forums. Some advice taken, some not. Yet, I could come and go with more freedom. There is something about spending money on a book that often pushes me to read on, even when a part of me says, “slap it closed and run”.
Yet, in moments when you are scared or nervous about something, you can be more easily pushed in one direction or another, especially in connection to our kids well being. With some things we may simply not know and gathering info from the outside can be comforting. Just don’t give all your power away!
We are, unfortunately, taught to take to heart all that experts, like our doctors, tell us. Truth is we MUST follow our intuition and gut feeling “along with” expert advice in books and live. Like a good recipe, the right ingredients together give full flavor to the plate. No one fully knows us and our family as we do. Most things and people are addressing averages, Including our doctors. What if you are in the minority? What if they are wrong? Self responsibility and accountability is important. We must listen within ourselves, as a priority, and gather all facts and feelings together to make clear decisions as we walk forward in our lives, guiding our families and selves to the right path.
Books, friends or foe? I still say, both!
Everyone has their own gathering of thoughts, opinions and experiences, including the experts. Statistics can often be found to support all sides. And, our own experiences are of great value, regardless of our own insecurities about making correct decisions. Be careful about over reading, over Googling and Trust in yourself and see what answers come as you put all the pieces together.
If absolutely overwhelmed by the information coming at you, step away, take a few breaths, a few days, get good sleep and let the answers of how to proceed with whatever things or issue or information is in front of you come clear on its own. Trust.
We can only do the best we can. We are certainly not perfect in all our decision making processes. Many times we feel good about our decisions, yet sometimes we as well have regrets about end results and wish we had done things differently. Like the time we KNEW our daughter’s 5 day fever was from molars coming in and because I had promised to go to hospital if high fever ever lasted longer than 3-4 days, we went (against my better intuitive feeling). In the end, the tests all came back negative and all the time, pain and efforts going all the way to hospital were for nothing) as they basically said we were nuts. Live and learn. More and more I find us listening to our own feeling over the “experts”, however, we still keep them in the loop to cover all the bases.
Intuitive Health is an important part of all our decision making. Not all books or doctors are equal. Gather information in all types of places possible. And, trust Intuition and gut feeling. All answers will come. Life and moments have a way of working themselves out.