I have to face the truth, right here and right now. I am finally sitting in silence, Mats (husband) has taken El (daughter) out since morning so I could finally catch up on sleep, get my brain back and a few things done.
It’s amazing how quickly time goes! Wake, brush teeth, get ready for day, finally unpack last bag from summer travels, eat, clean, organize, find bits of recording equipment we need for better sounding podcast (uff, don’t get me started on that), catch up on emails, write for IP, research how all the social media we are looking to work with “actually works”, and on and on and suddenly it’s late afternoon. Holy crap!
My computer sits on a pillow on my lap as I listen to the trickling of our Buddha fountain and see the 10% battery alert pop up on my phone as I write this on its tiny screen.
Again, and again, as I write something for the blog and book, I find myself saving as a draft. Don’t ask me why. It’s part of my process. Committing, knowing words last forever on line, completion, perfectionism rearing it’s ugly head, who knows. So, I write the process for the moment. I know we are not alone in this wonderfully maddening process of getting started, yet I do wish it were just the tinest bit easier.
Maybe you have no interest in all this rambling from my head, but it is where it is. We thought we would already be live, by now. Yet, with a full summer of too much travel, dramas behind the scenes with outer family, working with people on their own business start ups, unpacking house, Mats looking for new work, attempting to adjust financial commitments, broken bits of house issues and of course the intense beautiful (and sometimes not) reality of the NOW of a 2 year old..well, our timeline clearly wasn’t aligned with life’s immediate needs. A bit annoying, really. Yet, Imperfect Podcasting must of course be imperfect! This is only the beginning.
I do miss the days of just recording with bare phones in car having a good time together, laughing and dreaming of creating.
Building the foundation is taking a bit more time, effort and researched than hoped. A big learning curve. And, I know that once the structure (ick don’t eve like writing that word!) is in place, all will glide along. It all seems too complicated. The rules we are ready to break. The stories we want to share and conversations we are having to pass on to you. Its building and building, yet, it is also time to re-simplify and bring the fun back! Hold me to that, OK?
This non-fun part of the process can only last so long before I lose steam.
At the moment the very paper thin amount of free time I have is going to creation. I am standing back a bit more to get back to what I need as human on planet, more often before I lose it. Hmm, wait, I kind of already am. Ask Mats.
So, in these next weeks, a new approach. Back to balance. Better communication. More sleep (uhem.. Mats, thank you for working on the snoring) and more FUN!
Looking forward to getting back to conversations with great families, getting the basics sorted and getting back to all of you. All being maybe 3 of us at the moment, ha ha. I have been too shy to put much out there, so I know I am nearly talking to myself. As an only child on West Coast (as my step brother is on East Coast), I am a bit used to talking with myself, so no big deal. Yet, soon, we will put it out there more, be more seen, speak up and be less shy. That moment of being fully Imperfect for all the world to see will come soon.
Now, back to writing, listening to intro music and musing ways to get back to the fun.
Just a short while more before my battery dies on phone, mental energy runs out and daughter returns.
That’s all for now.
Imperfect parents unite!
Keep trusting that Imperfection is there for a reason. You are great parents!